my life.

finally i had my laptop back after 3 weeks long. great thanks to Jaren and her bro. thankiu sho muchie. <3

my life is being a biggest bitch ever. sometimes I just wondered whether there is a easy way out, whether there is SOMEONE that can really hear me screaming for rescue. I'm lost. When mama told me the situation, tears just cant help and well in my eyes. I don't want to hurt anyone, I dont want to disappoint anyone. I've been trying so hard to keep everyone joyous and happy. I never failed them. Yet, it's not this time. I've gotta make a decision which will hurt either side. I'm so sick of being a nice baby in my parents' arms. I know how much they love me, how much they have devoted, but it's just not that I want. I wanna live on my own for once, entirely ON MY OWN. Jeez, I hate that when u think u can decide everything like finally, then someone steps forward pointing at ur nose saying "uh oh, i'm afraid it's not the right time." GODAMIT! leave me alone please.

dear, I don't mean to disappoint u, I'm serious. But it's just not the condition under my own control. forgive me, please.

last but not least, I still love u. <3